Deal or No Deal

A deal at the final table of a tournament is as common as Fintan “Arthur Daly” Gavin blowing his chips on a bluff, it happens every time. And there is absolutely no doubt that the poker Gods look poorly on anyone that refuses to make a deal. I know a lot of people who think players that won’t deal are cheap ass, tight fisted, miserable bastards, which of course could very well be true, but this isn’t what causes affront to the Gods, no no, make no mistake, if a players refuses to do a deal at the final table he is saying he is better then you, the fact is you are lucky to be at the same table as them. In a game which relies so heavily on luck these players have elevated themselves to an almost divine level in their own minds and this is what incurs the wroth of the true Gods and divine retribution will be theirs.

One of the most recent and well know occurrence of a deal gone bad involved Adrian “The Negotiator” Walsh in the IPC, he tries to come across as a man of the people, a one love hippy type with all that long hair and silent contemplation, but I have heard rumours from people close to him that it’s a wig and in reality he’s as bald as Danny DeVito, and I know for a fact he is a man. utd. supporter, so right away you now there is a certain amount of mental instability. With 30 players remaining and 26 getting paid at the IPC a deal was suggested, money back, €2000, for the players 27^th-30^th and of the 30 he was the one man that stood alone and refused, he was knocked out so fast he nearly went back in time, I mean it, he was actually eliminated before some of the player found out he had rejected the deal. And he used to be such a nice lad until he got mixed up with that Lesson Lounge crowd.

Another occurrence of the phenomenon was witnessed last Saturday at the Eglinton in the Irish Open satellite, John Ward was chip leader with 4 players left, there was 3 tickets and €900 for 4^th, it was suggested that they take €3600 each and anyone playing the open just add €900, John refused, a ticket or bust he said, oh how small and petty the pokers Gods can be. I hope he buys himself something nice with his €900.

We’re all gamblers and chancers and we all get our run of luck, so please, next time your running hot don’t start strutting around like your something special, remember the Gods are watching and they have a sick sense of humour.

Congrats to our latest Galway Qualifiers

Well done to Keith "Space Cadet" Mc Fadden, Keith usually takes forever to make a discussion and having played with him dozens of times I still can’t tell if he is thinking or if there is a hamster in there with a roll of insulating tape and a pliers working frantically to reconnect the wheel to the generator in his brain, and Mark "The Lemming farmer" Spellman, in truth they are cows but the rumor last year was that they were chucking themselves of cliffs and shit, makes you wonder what kinda place Galway is when even the cattle are losing the will to live. Anyway I digress, the 2 boys won the packages for the Irish Open last Friday in the Eglinton, so happily the West will find itself strongly represented by these two bandits.

Also a quick heads up for anyone who has been living in a cave, the satellite for the Party Poker Cruise is on this Friday in the Eglinton, €350 with one €200 rebuy/top-up, and there are 4 $12,000 packages guaranteed (not be me, and if any of these details are incorrect don’t bother telling me, I don't care that much). Seems like good value though, I have heard that there are a number of players coming from all around the country for this but there is still a good chance of an overlay.

I will be covering the event here on the blog so if any of you want to know anything about what is happening on the night just throw a comment in here. I would normally be playing but I get sea sick just drinking a glass of water, so we’ll be giving it a miss.

Oh ya, nearly forgot, there is another Irish Open Satellite on this Saturday in the club €250 buy in with a €150 Rebuy/Top-up, what a great excuse to spent the weekend gambling in Galway.

SDG Fever

As any Sick Degenerate Gambler (SDG) will tell you there are times when you find yourself over taken by the fever. Winning and losing become a blur, it’s you against the world and you’re going to show them who has the biggest brass balls. Poker players call it tilt, and there is nothing nicer then having a player on tilt at the table, 9 times out of 10 he is leaving the money behind, and you got to appreciate the 1 time that they actually creams some bastard at the table with a massive suck out, I mean let’s be fair, we have all been there and if you never won, nobody would ever tilt. Tilt at the poker table is usually a result of a bad beat, with the exception of the odd player like Dave “Silver Tongue” Curtis who, as far as I can tell, actually turns up on tilt, and after the poker god have fucked you, and only because they are spiteful and petty because you’re a good person and deserving of the luck, the initial reaction is to get as much money as you can into the next pot, preferably with the worst hand possible. Anyway, we’ve all seen it and we’ve all done it, and any player that says he doesn’t tilt is a bare faced liar.

I have experienced some bad nights at the blackjack myself but nothing of any major consequence, oh that I could afford to be a big loser at the gaming tables. However, being an SDG and having spent far to much time in casinos, I have had the pleasure of watching some of the big boys go at the blackjack and I can tell you tilt works the same here as in poker, you start to lose and the bets get bigger and bigger, soon the manager is over and your getting the limits on the tables increased, you can actually feel the heat of the laser card burning in your wallet it been through the machine so many time and similar to poker 9 in 10 times there is no way back.

But tilt is not the fever, oh the fever and how glorious it is to behold. There is only one game that can truly induce this intense high and it is roulette, the speed at which it runs, no stops for a shuffle, 2 dealers, one just for building castles out of the rainbow of chips, the true random nature of the game, the fact that most players, even regular ones, don’t know their 35 times tables and have no idea how much they should get when they hit a number, the sea of arms stretching across the table desperately trying to get their bets on, it’s wonderful maddness. And the fever is a very different creature to tilt, the fever hits when you start winning, you become invincible, you actually zone out the rest of the world, eyes darting from the bets to the wheel, “No more bets” calls the dealer, the lull, you hold your breath, you hit, the celebratory roar, my favourite of these is belong to Christy The Morbid One “ Go on magunya”, if you hear it 17 has just hit., the dealer passes you your winnings but you’ll have to wait for the lull in the next spin, there’s betting to be doing, and these dealers ain’t paid to hang about, it’s time to strap in your going for a ride.

I have only recently started play a bit of roulette, a game I have actually laughed at people for playing before, and I am hear to tell you, if you’re an SDG and haven’t ever tried it, next time you find yourself with some disposable cash, stay away from the blackjacks and the brags and give it a go. Don’t misunderstand me, I take back nothing I ever said about it before, it is idiotic and you need to be mentally ill to play it but the same can be said for most things in life the can truly give you a great high.