Hail The Conquering Hero’s

Team Galway took home the trophy in the Pub Teams Championship, held in the Central Tavern in Loughgeorge on Friday night. The Galaxy of Stars that made up Team Galway were,
Captain: Pat “I’ll be very surprised if I don’t win every tournament between now and the end of time” O Callaghan
Fintan “The Suicide Bomber” Gavin
Donal “Two Suits” MacAonghusa
Dave “Hells Angel” Curtis
John “Milkybar Kid” Cullinane
Manus “World Best Loser” Burke

This event was an absolute cracker, well organised with a great structure that rewarded top class play and good looks, was there ever any doubt who would win.
The event did stand out as the loudest tournament I have ever played in, with the cheers of joy and screams of anguish continuously echoing through the sea of beer that was flowing from the bar. But in amongst all the craziness there were a few truly beautiful moments.

Dave “Flapping Gums” Masters committed the ultimate sin in a team competition, when, in what can only be described as a retardedly botched attempt to dump chips to one of his fellow team mates, he called John “Do not go on the piss with this man without full health coverage” Weafer’s all in with 92 and hit 2 pair on the flop. Oh how we all laughed. The East Coast Cowboy never recovered from this setback and were ultimately undone by the infighting and discontent brought on by this innocently stupid mistake by the Flapper.

If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes I would never have believed it possible, but on Friday, as God is my witness, Fintan “The Suicide Bomber” Gavin actually play like the ultimate rock and blinded away until he was knocked out in 17th place, and even more bazaar is that when he eventually put the chips in he was ahead. This amazing feat was the result of a superb team strategy devised by Donal “Two Suits” MacAonghusa, if we could just keep a full pint in each of Fintans hands he wouldn’t be able to get the chips over the line. This did of course have the slight drawback of Fintan being unable to walk by the end of the event, but we were men enough to make that sacrifice.

The end of the tournament saw a closing ceremony in Tarahouse Loughgeorge that would have been fitting for the Olympic Games. Actually considering the condition of most of the participants, possibly the Paralympics might be more accurate.
Cards, pool and video games, no bet was too big, no drink was too poisonous. The highlight of the events was Dave “Hells Angel” Curtis taking on the Dublin Flapper for €100 a pop at the arcade game 1942. This was not the only bet being place on the outcome, watching the side action it was like being at a Mexican cock fight, with 50’s flying all sides.

Other notes
Fintan cleaned up at the pool, when will you suckers ever learn, he owns the fucking table.
Well done Corky the Clown on taking home the individual prize, you’re a lucky little bastard.

Unlucky to the Milkybar Kid who finished second, you’re an unlucky little bastard.

Well done Caroline on some fine results on the side tables, some justice after the incredible shoddy treatment but the numbnuts on team Bodkins, if you put the lot of them together you wouldn’t make a decent halfwit.

Finally well done to everyone who took part, it was great to see teams travelling from Limerick and Dublin just to enjoy the crack.
I’d like to say sometime deep and meaningful, like the real winner of Friday was poker, but that’s bollox. We know who the real winner was, The Central Tavern, Mike ya lucky git you cleaned up.